5. Why are men always expected to accept everything? – the unseen weight of silent struggles

Time keeps passing, and we’ve always taught boys one thing — they have to be strong.
Strong in health, strong in wealth, strong in mind, and strong in physical strength.
But today, a question arises — why is the burden of being strong always placed on them?
Is it because their bodies carry more muscle mass?
Or because they speak less?
Is it because their silence is mistaken as their strength, and their tears as their weakness?
Why is it that even when they are just little babies, they are taught — “boys don’t cry”?
Why is it that when the question is about men, there’s never an answer to why?
The Silent Struggles They Go Through…
The world may never notice, but men go through silent storms every day.
They carry burdens we don’t see, fears they don’t speak of, and wounds they don’t show.
Dard ho dil mein phir bhi muskaan hoti hai chehre pe.
Apna sab kuch hume de ke bhi,
We ask them with all the audacity —
Kya hi kiya hai tumne?”
They give up their dreams to support ours.
They carry responsibilities without complaints.
And still, their efforts are questioned. Their pain goes unnoticed.
Their silence — misjudged as indifference.
But inside, they’re just people with tired hearts and quiet hopes.
Why is it that every time a man gathers the courage to express his expectations, he’s met with excuses or silence?
But when he fulfills our expectations without asking for anything in return, we rarely even notice — and often, we still find fault.
Why is it that in every situation, he’s the one expected to let go of his happiness for the sake of others?
Why must he always be the one to step forward, to fix what’s broken, to keep everything from falling apart?
Even when a relationship feels heavy on both sides,
the burden of holding it together often falls on him — quietly burning his hands while he says nothing.
And still, we say, “He doesn’t express much.”
Maybe it’s not that he doesn’t feel —
Maybe it’s that he’s never been allowed to.

They don’t ask for much but they deserve more!
Men are simple beings at heart.
They feel happy when we are happy.
If the people around them are smiling, they often forget their own pain — as if it never existed.
Their joy is borrowed from others. Their peace is found in our comfort.
I’m not saying we should treat them like kings.
But at the very least, we should try to understand their little things — with the same care and depth that they put into understanding ours.
We should be gentle enough — emotionally safe enough — that they can come to us and say:
“I can’t hold it all together anymore. Can I rest my head on your shoulder for a while?”
Because strength doesn’t mean they don’t feel tired.
And love isn’t just about what they do for us — it’s also about how we hold space for their softness.

Behind Their Anger, There’s Often Silence
We’re quick to sense a man’s anger.
We immediately say — “Why is he always so angry?”
We label it as his nature, his attitude, his flaw.
But how often do we just sit beside him, without judgment, and ask:
“What’s wrong, yaar? What’s bothering you?”
“Is something on your mind?”
“Do you need something?”
“Are you truly okay?”
Maybe that anger isn’t aggression — maybe it’s frustration.
Maybe it’s unspoken pain.
Maybe it’s exhaustion from being expected to hold it all together, while no one asks how he is really doing.
Sometimes, the only thing a man needs is for someone to notice he’s not okay — and care enough to ask.

Love Them As Gently As Their Souls Deserve
Treat men as gently as their souls deserve to be treated.
Yes, some may fall short, some may hurt — but not every mango in the basket is rotten.
We don’t blame the whole for the faults of a few.
The same goes for men. Just because some have failed to be kind, doesn’t mean all are unworthy of love or understanding.
Trust me, if you offer them just a little — a small thread of support, a drop of care —
they’ll give their entire life in return.
Because most men don’t want much — just love, care, and the feeling that someone truly sees them.

Let’s Ask Better Question?
The next time you see a man being silent, don’t just say “be strong.”
Say:
“It’s okay. You can talk. I’m here.”
Because behind every quiet man, there may be a loud storm waiting to be heard.

(वक़्त के सिवा तुम्हारे उनको किसी चीज़ की उम्मीद नहीं है।
तुम बस साथ दे दो और उनकी कोई जीत नहीं है।
जो हारे किसी मोड़ पर, वो तो उसकी हिम्मत बनो — इससे ज़्यादा उसकी तुमसे प्रीत नहीं है।
और ये सारे चरित्र अगर किसी एक शख़्स में आ सकें, तो वो ‘मर्द’ के अलावा कोई और नहीं है |)

*Translation*

(They don’t expect anything from you except time.

You just support them and there is no victory for them.

If someone loses at some point, be his strength – he doesn’t love you more than this.

And if all these characteristics can come in one person, then he is none other than a ‘man’.)

                                                                                                                                                  -Kirti Shukla